Train Your Brain to Get What You Want

When I first meet with a client, I often ask: “Where are you stuck?”

One client once said:
“I want to obtain my real estate license because I love property and I’m good with people and details… but I hate to sell.”

Everything sounded great—until those last four words: “I hate to sell.”

Here’s the problem: when you tell yourself something like this over and over, your brain believes it. You’re essentially training your mind to resist growth in that area. Instead of opening the door to learn and improve, you shut it and reinforce stress, frustration, and avoidance.

This applies to so many areas of life. For example:

• “I dread going to the gym, but I want to get fit.”

• “I’m terrible at math, yet I have to submit a finance report every month.”

• “I’ll never be good at chemistry, but I want to become a nurse.”

Sound familiar?

Where to Start

The first step is to catch your words. Instead of repeating “I hate this” or “I’ll never be good at that,” try shifting to something gentler and more hopeful:

• “I’m getting a little better at this.”

Notice what happens. You’ll likely feel less stressed, less stuck, and more open to improvement.

Build Confidence Through Curiosity

Once you shift your language, you create space for new actions. For example, if monthly reports overwhelm you, ask a colleague who enjoys them to walk you through their process. Observe what makes it easy for them. Adopting even one of their strategies can help you feel more capable.

A Personal Example

I’ve used this exact process in my own life. For years, I disliked the word exercise—it carried heavy, negative baggage for me. So I changed my language. I started saying “I love to work out.” I paired it with a new belief: “Working out is good for my body and helps me stay strong, healthy, and youthful.”

Before long, I didn’t just tolerate working out—I enjoyed it. And now, it’s a natural part of my life.

Why This Works

When you change the story you tell yourself, your brain starts to follow your lead. Small shifts in language and perspective reduce resistance, build motivation, and help you take consistent action. Over time, those actions lead to results—and results build confidence.

It all starts with a simple choice: train your brain to believe in possibility instead of limitation.

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